Here is a very helpful graphic that I know you'll all appreciate. It will indeed help you to focus on the MOST important aspect of selecting the next Commander in Chief. Please take all aspects into consideration, namely height and weight. After all, who cares about energy, security and education? What matters most is how fit and appealing the candidate is. You just can't say enough about a good healthy BMI. (http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/)
So now that I've provided you with this helpful information you'll finally be able to decide once and for all who you will vote for!
2 comments:
Too bad Clinton didn't wear those shorts on the campaign trail...
Spence,
You have a point. BMI is not only a great health indicator, but it is also an acronym for:
Bismaleimide Resin
Institutt for Biokjemi Og Molekylærbiologi (Norwegian: Department of Biochemistry and Molecular Biology; University of Bergen)
Bad Mental Image
Of course, everyone knows the real meaning of BMI is Big Mac Index. Anyway, now that we are armed with this new and vital information you provided, it's time to reanalyze my vote.
Here is my Body Mass Index:
Andy - 23.7
And here is the BMI of those in the picture:
James Madison - 16.8
Abraham Lincoln - 20.7
Barack Obama - 22.1-23.4
John McCain - 25.8
George Bush - 26.5
Bill Clinton - 27.2
William Howard Taft - 45.4
Obviously, I want to vote for someone who I can identify with, someone who mirrors my own BMI.
Based on the information, that would be Mr. Obama.
However, Mr. Obama is the only one who waffles on his true weight, only giving us a range of his BMI. I can't support a flip-flopper, so Obama is out.
James Madison is automatically disqualified in deference to the "Pygmy" clause in my own personal code of voting ethics.
Clinton and Taft are excluded because Clinton is wearing 80's track shorts in the wrong decade, and Taft fails on the account that he is large enough to eat another human being.
McCain is not getting my vote because his BMI is 25.8. The 258th day of the year happens to be September 15th. That happens to be the birthday of Dan Marino (1961). I have never truly believed in the therapeutic claims of Isotoner Gloves, therefore, no vote for McCain.
That leaves me with Bush or Lincoln. This presents a conundrum for me because I share the height of Bush and the weight of Lincoln. I could meet either candidate halfway.
My solution: No vote for Bush because I already made that same mistake..twice. And I can't vote for Lincoln because he's dead.
I guess in November I'll have to write in my own choice. Thanks for screwing up my whole thought process Spence.
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